Recently, we got a rare chance to sit down and talk with everyone’s favorite hero, the Master Chief.  We caught up with him on Cairo Station, just before an awards ceremony.  Our interviewer, Spulmy Bulwark, sat down with the Master Chief and talked about things we know you’ve all been wanting to know about.

 

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Spulmy Bulwark:  It’s so good to have you here, Chief. Thanks for taking the time.

 

 Master Chief:  Lord Hood thought it might be good for morale if I participated, sir.

 

 SB: Well, we’re certainly glad you did.  Our readers are certainly interested in you and your story.

 

 MC: I’m sure they are.  I hope you realize some of my experiences are classified, sir.

 

 SB: I was briefed, yes…by a dark, angry man from ONI   (Office of Naval Intelligence).  Do those guys give you he creeps as much as they do me?

 

MC: No sir.  They’re just doing their jobs.

 

SB: Well, They bug me.  Then again, they’re spooks…they’ve bugged everybody.  (Chuckles)

 

MC: (Stoic silence)

 

SB: Erm…yes…  (Clears throat)  Well…we tried to find out a bit about your history, Chief, tried to get a little background info on you…but it   turns out, there’s not much out there.

 

MC: Mostly classified, sir.

 

SB: We gathered.  So…what can you tell us about your past?

 

MC: Sir…What I can tell you is I am born and bred for this war, and I intend to do my best to stop the Covenant before they find Earth.

 

SB: Admirable. But you are only one man.

 

MC: That only means I’ll have to try a little harder, sir.

 

SB: Admirable dedication.  (Flips through notes)  All right…what can you tell us about your adventures on the ring world, some are calling it Halo.  Rumor has it you managed to stop an entire armada of the Covenant…and you even managed to stop a new race of   parasitic life forms from escaping.

 

MC: I cannot confirm or deny anything, sir.  Classified.

 

SB: Of course not.  (Flips through notes) All right…
 let’s go back a bit further.  Back to Reach. \

 

MC: Sir?

 

SB: Some people report that many of your counter parts from the SPARTAN project were lost there.  Others say that some sort of Forerunner artifact was discovered there, important to the Covenant, and that is the only reason anyone got out of there alive.

 

MC: I’ve lost many good friends…soldiers, sir.  But we dedicated our lives to fighting the Covenant.  We all knew what risk was involved.

 

SB: Of course. But what about these rumors of an ancient race of beings called the Forerunner?  You can’t deny that there have been strange artifacts found.  Hell, you were standing and allegedly fighting on one of them.

 

MC: This I can confirm.  There have been many artifacts and even structures found in recent history that point to the existence of a precursor race, which is referred to as the Forerunner.

 

SB: And of course, they were far more technologically advanced than we were.  Back to the Ring…what can you tell us about it?  Rumor has that it had its own self-regulated environment.  That sounds like some high tech stuff.

 

MC: Obviously, sir.

 

SB: What about the Forerunner?  What can you tell us about them?

 

MC: I know as much as you do, sir.  If you want information on ancient history, I suggest contacting a historian.

 

SB: Of course. (Sigh)  All right…let’s change gears.  What can you say about the rumors that we’re fighting a losing war? That we’re losing ground faster than we can rebuild our fleets? (Cont.)

 

MC: Sir, the soldiers in combat are doing the very best  they can.  We are fighting an enemy more technologically advanced than we are and have managed to push the Covenant back on more than one occasion.

 

SB: But what about the paradox?

 

MC: Paradox, sir?

 

SB: Paradox.  While on the ground, face-to-face, us humans can give the Covies what for with the best of them…but then the Covenant fleet simply glasses the planet…if they haven’t found weird Forerunner stuff to poke at.

 

MC: I cannot deny the destruction of many colonies by Covenant fleets.  Yes, on many occasions, rather than fighting on the ground, they simply vaporize the surface with their plasma weapons.

 

SB: So…what does that mean for humanity?  What happens when they reach Earth?
MC: Sir…you are sitting on the Cairo…a station mounted with the largest projectile weapon ever devised by humanity.  And there are more than twenty of these stations around the Earth.  If the Covenant do come…I feel sorry for them.

 

SB: You believe we can match them?

 

MC: I believe we will win this war, yes.

 

SB: Kind of optimistic, don’t you think?

 

MC: Sir…I said we will win.  I did not say it would not be difficult.

 

SB: Of course.  Anyway…how about we change gears again?   Lighten the mood a bit.  Tell us…what sorts of things do you do in your downtime?

 

MC: Sir?

 

SB: You must have time off occasionally.

 

MC: Rarely, sir.  But the time I do get I try and spend training or studying Covenant tactics.  In a short while, I’m to report for armor refit.  As you can see, my MJOLNIR armor has taken a beating.

 

SB: Now that’s dedication.  Okay…so, tell us…is there a Mrs. Master Chief?
MC: No, sir.

 

SB: That’s too bad.  Ever think it might have something to do with the fact that you rarely if ever take off your helmet?

 

MC: It probably has more to do with my occupation as a soldier in a war.  Sir.

 

SB: Well…keep your hopes up.  There’s always a chance.  Now…what’s next for the Chief?

 

MC: I plan on returning to duty as soon as I’m given clearance to do so.

 

SB: No rest for the weary, eh?

 

MC: Seems not, sir.

 

SB: Okay, then.  How about what your plans for later   on after the war?

 

MC: Sir?

 

SB: After the war.  After you’re done.  Any plans then?

 

MC: Erm…no, sir.  Don’t think I’ve ever thought that far ahead.

 

SB: Ahhh…well, that’s understandable.  Busy man, and all.

 

MC: Extremely, sir.

 

SB: Well, then, one more question, one that I know our readers are very interested in.

 

MC: Yes, sir?

 

SB: The helmet.  Do you ever take the helmet off?

 

MC: I’ll have to remove the entire suit for a refit and repair in a short while, sir.

 

SB: Of course, Chief.  Any chance of you popping the top now?

 

MC: Sir…it takes two techs and a 400-credit tool to open this suit.

 

SB: Oh.  Well, Chief, it’s been great talking to you.  We here at GaMER wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.  We’re all behind you one hundred percent.

 

MC: Thank you, sir.

 

SB: And when you’re out there…give the Covies one for me, would you?

 

MC: Of course, sir.  Have a nice day.

 

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Spulmy Bulwark has been a staff writer for GaMER Magazine for five years.  His interview credits include Lara Croft, Sam Fisher and Crash Bandicoot.